Response to: Faces of Love: Jealousy: A Male Emotion Michael Ide

Faces of Love: Jealousy: A Male Emotion addresses several themes associated with Greek societal notions of jealousy: how it is expressed, by whom, to whom, and to what extent is it justified. The author argues that jealous displays by women are far less accepted than those of men, which, considering the nature of women’s status in Greek society at the time is not surprising. Ideal women are characterized by reserved modesty, separation from the public sphere, and their subordination to men, so emotional displays concerning the sexual promiscuity of their husband would most certainly not be tolerated.

The idea that men act out their jealousy in the form of violence, and upon the other man involved, rather than the woman, is supported by the legal text : On the Killing of a Seducer. Upon catching the seducer in the act of adultery, the defendant murdered him on the spot. It can be argued that the defendant didn’t kill the man whom his wife was having an affair with out of jealousy, rather then the desire to protect the sanctity of his household. Yet the rules of Greek society govern acceptable expressions of jealousy in the same way that they govern roles of men and women. It was acceptable, by society, to kill the seducer. And the wife was left untouched, as she could not be held responsible for her own actions, she was without agency. This does not, however, explain the emotionality behind jealous actions that was so prevalent in the essay.

In Roman society, given that the restrictions on women’s behavior was significantly more lenient then for their Greek counterparts, one would expect either party to be justified in displaying jealous emotions. This signals a less rigid structure in the formula of emotional expression, in Rome. Catullus supports this in his very emotional, sometimes obscene, erotic poetry. In 11, for example, his wrath is directed at the woman, Lesbia, who has withdrawn her love from him: "let her live and be well with her fuckers/ whom she clasps three hundred at a time,/ loving none truly but over and over busting/ the balls on them all" (ll.17-20). He is greatly insulting this (former) object of his affection. Yet this is not the exclusive nature of the expression of jealousy, for in 32, he is directing his threatening insults at the men who are perhaps with his lover, Lesbia: "…you think I wont dare/ plug all two hundred together in the mouth?/...because my girl, who ran from my embrace,/ the girl I loved as no girl will be loved,/ has sat down there. And all you fine, successful men love her" (ll. 7-14). Just as Roman society is more tolerant of the public actions of women, it seems to allow a wider set of emotional, rather than physical, expressions of jealousy, from men, than does Greek society.